Mommying is not an easy task. There is no one correct way to do it. But whatever a mom is trying to do for her child is always perfect for the child. It is the best job that each mom is doing with what she knows and what has in this moment. Being judged as a mom, I resonate with the fact that the story of judging a mom begins right from her pregnancy and has no end to it!!!
Sighting few of the incidences here…
Oh! Look how she is working. She will harm the baby this way. (Hello!! There is no one else to handle the household chores.)
She has been just chilling out on her bed. She will give birth to a lazy bum. (Excuse me! The doctor advised me a bed rest.)
Labour room :
She would have already planned for a C sec, so didn’t push harder. (Fact is Doctor said there is a change in heart beat of the baby inside)
Why is she not giving a top feed? She is starving the baby!! ( Baby just need to learn how to latch, I am producing gallons by the way )
Why top feed?? I gave her so many methods to enhance the breast milk!! (I too wanted to Breastfeed my child but was not able to. Don’t make me more guilty about it.)
Working mom :
She goes for work leaving the child at day care. ( I have my own identity too and don’t want to lose it)
She is a SAHM, no work, just chilling at husband’s earnings. (Really??? A SAHM is the most exhausted person by the time she reaches her bed)
She made the child sit in front of the TV. (The child is watching rhymes by the way and yes such things have helped me in finishing some household chores)
She never allows her child to touch the iPad. Poor baby cried for like half an hour. (At times, ignorance is important when the demands are not reasonable)
She has a nanny!! But she is a SAHM. Why will she need one? (Her needs. Why you need to poke your nose)
Why can’t she keep a nanny, when she can’t handle things alone? (You are invited!!)
Baby wearing :
Why a baby carrier? We used to carry three-three kids in our times. (Planning was necessary for you. You missed it)
Look at the way she is carrying the baby. She should get a carrier for her. (Gift me one, please)
Boarding school :
She is sending her 7-year-old to a boarding school. What a heartless female. (You really think a mom can be heartless??)
Her child needs to be disciplined. Why doesn’t she send him to a boarding school?? (Is that what a boarding school meant for?? That’s it! )
The way of loving :
She didn’t get a toy for the child. Poor thing was crying his lungs out. (I need to decide what is good for my child and what is not!!)
She buys him so many toys. She is spoiling him by over pampering. (Can love spoil anyone??)
Mom of a special child :
It must be her past karmas that are making her child suffer. (Trust me, if it was possible to change things, I would have done that.)
Every mom has to face a certain situation in life and only she knows what it feels like to have someone question her decisions and capabilities to raise her child. Such questions or statements can leave any mom disappointed and in dismay. It also leads to depression for many.
Anyways this world is not going to spare you, dear mom!! Yes, I have been judged as a mom too.
But, I have attained freedom from being judged. And the secret is ‘not to give an ear’ to such talks.
Jitne muh utni baatein…gaur kitno pe karna…
If you still wish to judge me …GO AHEAD AND JUDGE as it won’t matter me. I am a free bird who has a true belief on her instincts and has attained Nirvana from such things. I live on my own terms and that is what is FREEDOM to me …